This day last year
-The eternal departure of a friend, a project manager, an environmentalist, a funny person, a bf who wrote to his gf by the river everyday, which was marked by another independent coincidence of a much lighter scale tragedy that took the form of a 1cm scar on a left fist.
Paying tribute to him. As I’m reminded of how I bled on this day-And whatever memory it triggered in which gratitude and sadness intertwined in the face of the struggle, or perhaps the independent fight with and against life. One remained. The other taken.
I hope the 1 remains remembers to honor that with a good reason.
Remember, remember
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Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Metamorphosis
I guess I can only say that life’s been an impatient teacher to make me wiser.
Have I benefited in any sense? No idea.
KH, its good advice but I’m not sure the net effect is really amalgamating more positive feelings with my self. But then I really appreciated that small lil chat I had with you.
It also made me realized I might have gone back to square one. Whether it’s a good thing or not, really is up to how I put it in perspective. If Life Is Beautiful can be beautiful, I believe nothing can’t be.
Something was hatching over the past few weeks, but I hav lost words of telling wat it is now. N I hav lost counts of how many times the motion changed. Something has changed I feel but it seems like nothing really has.
Was advised not 2 dissimulate my sentiments. But I have got no idea what they are.
If this is metamorphosis, I can’t wait to c watz thr for me when I transform.
I hope I can fly.
Higher and further.
For that I will bear me immobilized until I’m ready.
And its not easy.
But i'll break it one day.
Am I evil? Am I good?
I’m done asking questions.
I dun have the answer.
Does anyone?
-Dexter, Season 2, episode 11-
__________________________________________________________________________________
Was completely knackered after interscool. The damage i brought unto myself:
Slp. Meals. And the reality that i finally came to c.
Still somewhat taxed till now. But the past 2 days had been crazy. Thanx for those who were part of it. But then i seriously was a bit offended when none of u paid attention to hotel rwanda that i played. How can any1 not like that film? Just no way~
N yea gay, i was happy 2 c u too. Real glad that i could manage 2 spend sometime w u. Thanx for the movie tho honestly speaking i was ultra tired n m still pissed at the ruthless not-that-intelligent censorship practice. Probably that mite be the last occasion for u me and ustad to be together in a pix. Let's set a time 2 go to TanZ together one day, wat say u? Would love to c kilimanjaro myself.And the flamingos sea. would be cool would it not gay? :P
N choob i din noe u read me here. Dont forget 2 buzz me before u leave aye?
ultra tired again. not sure if something is wrong w me. hope not.
cheerio
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I guess I can only say that life’s been an impatient teacher to make me wiser.
Have I benefited in any sense? No idea.
KH, its good advice but I’m not sure the net effect is really amalgamating more positive feelings with my self. But then I really appreciated that small lil chat I had with you.
It also made me realized I might have gone back to square one. Whether it’s a good thing or not, really is up to how I put it in perspective. If Life Is Beautiful can be beautiful, I believe nothing can’t be.
Something was hatching over the past few weeks, but I hav lost words of telling wat it is now. N I hav lost counts of how many times the motion changed. Something has changed I feel but it seems like nothing really has.
Was advised not 2 dissimulate my sentiments. But I have got no idea what they are.
If this is metamorphosis, I can’t wait to c watz thr for me when I transform.
I hope I can fly.
Higher and further.
For that I will bear me immobilized until I’m ready.
And its not easy.
But i'll break it one day.
Am I evil? Am I good?
I’m done asking questions.
I dun have the answer.
Does anyone?
-Dexter, Season 2, episode 11-
__________________________________________________________________________________
Was completely knackered after interscool. The damage i brought unto myself:
Slp. Meals. And the reality that i finally came to c.
Still somewhat taxed till now. But the past 2 days had been crazy. Thanx for those who were part of it. But then i seriously was a bit offended when none of u paid attention to hotel rwanda that i played. How can any1 not like that film? Just no way~
N yea gay, i was happy 2 c u too. Real glad that i could manage 2 spend sometime w u. Thanx for the movie tho honestly speaking i was ultra tired n m still pissed at the ruthless not-that-intelligent censorship practice. Probably that mite be the last occasion for u me and ustad to be together in a pix. Let's set a time 2 go to TanZ together one day, wat say u? Would love to c kilimanjaro myself.And the flamingos sea. would be cool would it not gay? :P
N choob i din noe u read me here. Dont forget 2 buzz me before u leave aye?
ultra tired again. not sure if something is wrong w me. hope not.
cheerio
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Thursday, April 03, 2008
A day of quotes: Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place
-Dexter Season 2, Episode 7-
These r quotes registered in my mind, quite a handful from Dexter when I watched it. Pretty cool.
Ah, my Beloved, fill the Cup that clears
TO-DAY of past Regrets and future Fears:
To-morrow! Why, To-morrow I may be
Myself with Yesterday's Sev'n thousand Years.
-Rubaiyat-
Introduced by kye. It still amazes me n I still lk these lines a lot.
From Dexter:
The pink cloud
It’s not the person.
It’s wat that person makes u feel about urself.
Dat is real.
Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place
-Dexter Season 2, Episode 7
Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches.
-Dexter Season2 , mayb episode 11
Then thr’s some reference to Mark Twain in the serie, n I kinda of liked it too:
U cant depend on ur eyes when ur imagination is out of focus
-Mark Twain, quoted in Dexter Season 2
N thr were some other that I conveniently copied, trying to load this entry w a lil bit more wisdom from the wise :P
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
I really do believe in that, even though sometimes actualizing it is not easy at all. Even though I do it clumsily.And at times i'm not sure if that is what i'm doing.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Probably I know it too early that my ‘education’ interfered with my schooling. Sigh :P
Then there were some misc quotes on the page too, so I thot I mite as well…
"Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness."
"The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself."
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Then under the mixed effect of watching Dexter and reading quotes, which is like adding mentos n coke to my brain, I started to make my own quotes :P
It’s the fuck of the century which denies my basic instinct(s) to survive.
This is the bomb man. My trophy line somehow cuz Ezanee actually complimented me. According to his professional judgment, this is the coolest line I have ever said :P It did lift me up a bit man, cuz I crawled from a man whose English “is fucking bad” (Ezanee and Friends, Being Polite, 2004)
If u hav watched Basic Instinct, probably then u would understand and agree on y its cool. But then u probably would not.
Then thr’s this childish corky nerdy cheesy quote that popped onto my mind 2 break that level-upped awesome vibe I had.
Morning comes when u hav u removed from mourning
lol
Thr’s a ring belling in my head when my fren sed that siblings are one’s link to his/her past. For me I’m blessed w a few more. Gay frens (with no reference to sex and sexual preference) who I hav known for my whole life, and my writings n sketches. Lost one of my sketchbooks which was a record of expression for the past 4-5 years. Even brought it to Php, NZ and Sabah. N at the meantime I found that I only have 3 pieces of writing(wateva they are) in my computer. M pretty sure I had the original ‘manuscripts’ somewhere at home :P
It would really be great if I could find more. I nearly forgot how much I liked 2 write. N how much I liked the language. Now ppl are even at times surprised that I know Chinese despite it being my fav. But it doesn’t show now , sadly. It has become my mistress in the dark :P
These are the two other survivals of timely negligence.
你把我的心幻化为球
一个转身 一个微笑 一个投篮
留下一地眼睛的碎片
闪亮
Thr’s no title to it. Written about 4-5 years ago. Like most of my poems in the past, its done in seconds when I was suddenly inspired. This one was pretty widely circulated among my frens. I kinda liked it too cuz its one of a few which was actually simple n direct n looked more like its meant to be understood by another earthling. But then thr’s was also speculation from one of my frens that I mite plagiarize it cuz he read something similar elsewhere. Well do I look like I ever care? LOL
看羽毛沾上霸欲之美
我睁开眼 看你 展翅
傲立于我0度 以背
面对我的摒息 以及 欲滴的云雨
以 钛钢之翼打造 通往天国的云梯 以及孕育云朵的岛屿
“我不得不去”
逆风削来你内心凝结于眼角的泪滴
和 徘徊于你喉间战抖的回忆
你 的心 渴望一场圣洁的雨 平息你羽毛象核子膨胀的霸欲 侵蚀
如我泪滴 地面象泉涌的富裕 和他的子弟
你 展翅 然后 我 只能睁着眼
看你孔武有力 的冰冷之美
让黑暗高空 象炎阳照耀
让黑暗平原 象牡丹一地
让黑暗人心 正大光明
你说阳光 令你视而不见
他的头颅 呼唤他的腿
她的手指 摸寻她的臂
以及成千上万的 他和她的
亲友的
锥肝锤心 悲号
撒下一地的 红
鲜血的记忆 淌滴
当 爆裂夺空呐喊
象新年烟花绽放
在空中散开 回舞的花瓣 撒下一地的 红
他的头颅 她的手指
他的腿 她的臂
及 躺着哀悼的花朵
燃烧 你神经的神经线
新年爆竹处处响
令
你迷恋 飘在空中 红 色的花瓣
他的头颅 她的手指
他的腿 她的臂
和最后最后 满地红色碎片
残留苟存在泥土中的呻吟
This is another blatant remark of my naïve youthfulness. Wrote it cuz I wanted to send it to some competition initially. Dropped later on cuz its too troublesome to get passport photos, make a couple of copies which had to be compliant w the prescribed format etc. But then, probably I shouldn’t. Thr were parts that were too scattered. Some were awkwardly disconnected. N there were also parts that were not very comprehensible, even though there were a few that I kinda liked. Itz also a response to US’s invasion to Iraq that time. N the style of writing was influenced by the reading material that I was sinkin in, and also a sea of movies that appreciates the beauty of violence. :P
But then i found that it appears as if depression is my goddess of inspiration.hmmm m sure i wrote something happy n positive too :P will c if i chance tracing them.
Alrite, that’s all for a break. Cheerio
~Hey u, nay not u, but u, yes u,
I’m glad I didn’t take u for a walk down the stairways to hell when I could.
Even though I was tempted to.
but i was afraid that i could not avert the evil which was becoming of me~
-Dexter Season 2, Episode 7-
These r quotes registered in my mind, quite a handful from Dexter when I watched it. Pretty cool.
Ah, my Beloved, fill the Cup that clears
TO-DAY of past Regrets and future Fears:
To-morrow! Why, To-morrow I may be
Myself with Yesterday's Sev'n thousand Years.
-Rubaiyat-
Introduced by kye. It still amazes me n I still lk these lines a lot.
From Dexter:
The pink cloud
It’s not the person.
It’s wat that person makes u feel about urself.
Dat is real.
Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place
-Dexter Season 2, Episode 7
Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches.
-Dexter Season2 , mayb episode 11
Then thr’s some reference to Mark Twain in the serie, n I kinda of liked it too:
U cant depend on ur eyes when ur imagination is out of focus
-Mark Twain, quoted in Dexter Season 2
N thr were some other that I conveniently copied, trying to load this entry w a lil bit more wisdom from the wise :P
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
I really do believe in that, even though sometimes actualizing it is not easy at all. Even though I do it clumsily.And at times i'm not sure if that is what i'm doing.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Probably I know it too early that my ‘education’ interfered with my schooling. Sigh :P
Then there were some misc quotes on the page too, so I thot I mite as well…
"Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness."
"The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself."
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Then under the mixed effect of watching Dexter and reading quotes, which is like adding mentos n coke to my brain, I started to make my own quotes :P
It’s the fuck of the century which denies my basic instinct(s) to survive.
This is the bomb man. My trophy line somehow cuz Ezanee actually complimented me. According to his professional judgment, this is the coolest line I have ever said :P It did lift me up a bit man, cuz I crawled from a man whose English “is fucking bad” (Ezanee and Friends, Being Polite, 2004)
If u hav watched Basic Instinct, probably then u would understand and agree on y its cool. But then u probably would not.
Then thr’s this childish corky nerdy cheesy quote that popped onto my mind 2 break that level-upped awesome vibe I had.
Morning comes when u hav u removed from mourning
lol
Thr’s a ring belling in my head when my fren sed that siblings are one’s link to his/her past. For me I’m blessed w a few more. Gay frens (with no reference to sex and sexual preference) who I hav known for my whole life, and my writings n sketches. Lost one of my sketchbooks which was a record of expression for the past 4-5 years. Even brought it to Php, NZ and Sabah. N at the meantime I found that I only have 3 pieces of writing(wateva they are) in my computer. M pretty sure I had the original ‘manuscripts’ somewhere at home :P
It would really be great if I could find more. I nearly forgot how much I liked 2 write. N how much I liked the language. Now ppl are even at times surprised that I know Chinese despite it being my fav. But it doesn’t show now , sadly. It has become my mistress in the dark :P
These are the two other survivals of timely negligence.
你把我的心幻化为球
一个转身 一个微笑 一个投篮
留下一地眼睛的碎片
闪亮
Thr’s no title to it. Written about 4-5 years ago. Like most of my poems in the past, its done in seconds when I was suddenly inspired. This one was pretty widely circulated among my frens. I kinda liked it too cuz its one of a few which was actually simple n direct n looked more like its meant to be understood by another earthling. But then thr’s was also speculation from one of my frens that I mite plagiarize it cuz he read something similar elsewhere. Well do I look like I ever care? LOL
看羽毛沾上霸欲之美
我睁开眼 看你 展翅
傲立于我0度 以背
面对我的摒息 以及 欲滴的云雨
以 钛钢之翼打造 通往天国的云梯 以及孕育云朵的岛屿
“我不得不去”
逆风削来你内心凝结于眼角的泪滴
和 徘徊于你喉间战抖的回忆
你 的心 渴望一场圣洁的雨 平息你羽毛象核子膨胀的霸欲 侵蚀
如我泪滴 地面象泉涌的富裕 和他的子弟
你 展翅 然后 我 只能睁着眼
看你孔武有力 的冰冷之美
让黑暗高空 象炎阳照耀
让黑暗平原 象牡丹一地
让黑暗人心 正大光明
你说阳光 令你视而不见
他的头颅 呼唤他的腿
她的手指 摸寻她的臂
以及成千上万的 他和她的
亲友的
锥肝锤心 悲号
撒下一地的 红
鲜血的记忆 淌滴
当 爆裂夺空呐喊
象新年烟花绽放
在空中散开 回舞的花瓣 撒下一地的 红
他的头颅 她的手指
他的腿 她的臂
及 躺着哀悼的花朵
燃烧 你神经的神经线
新年爆竹处处响
令
你迷恋 飘在空中 红 色的花瓣
他的头颅 她的手指
他的腿 她的臂
和最后最后 满地红色碎片
残留苟存在泥土中的呻吟
This is another blatant remark of my naïve youthfulness. Wrote it cuz I wanted to send it to some competition initially. Dropped later on cuz its too troublesome to get passport photos, make a couple of copies which had to be compliant w the prescribed format etc. But then, probably I shouldn’t. Thr were parts that were too scattered. Some were awkwardly disconnected. N there were also parts that were not very comprehensible, even though there were a few that I kinda liked. Itz also a response to US’s invasion to Iraq that time. N the style of writing was influenced by the reading material that I was sinkin in, and also a sea of movies that appreciates the beauty of violence. :P
But then i found that it appears as if depression is my goddess of inspiration.hmmm m sure i wrote something happy n positive too :P will c if i chance tracing them.
Alrite, that’s all for a break. Cheerio
~Hey u, nay not u, but u, yes u,
I’m glad I didn’t take u for a walk down the stairways to hell when I could.
Even though I was tempted to.
but i was afraid that i could not avert the evil which was becoming of me~
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