2007-The Irony, the Hope and the Alacrity

Thr’s always a thing with great irony/apparent contrast. At least to me.
In close to absolute silence, my heart speaks loudest.
But, however loud my heart speaks, she did/does not stop me.
To run from fear, and to fear of runs.
Run is the undesired manifestation of a gratifying pull-I run away from what pulls me towards it.
Probably that’s why I have a thing for irony, especially cynical contrasts that reflect themselves upon my action opposite to my feelings.

But wat on earth m I doing while my heart speaks? And when my mind answers to that?
A simple answer : …?

Lol, like I hav always said, I dun need to drink to get drunk ya :P

Lol perhaps feeling the new year, pondering about wat she brings.
Flashing back 2006, or even years before that wheneva relevant; like how ur linked to the archive of Iraq when u read about Saddam; like tasting a glass of wine after meal, not thinking anything n yet ur mind gets wild like a drunken mustang. Especially true for a person with a hyperactively jumpy mind, like the scattered sparklets of the firework I saw that said hi to 2007. Voila. Across the globe, almost everyone, and every mind and every heart wishes for a better year. The wishes invited Tsunami last year and 8 bombs this year. Probably Saddam’s execution answers to some Kurd’s or Shiite’s wish, but arguably is a milestone of a bttr year. I just could not help but to compare the dazzling fireworks that shone above me and the fireworks that took place on the ground in Bangkok and in many places of military conflicts. I made my resolution n wished for the bttr when I was visually showered by the amusing beauty of the firework; but what would I have thought n done if I was in the latter scenario?

And again my mind is scattered, at some point hollow, maybe because I can’t bear the scarce probability of another wish (dream) comes true. Yea sometimes ppl do wish for something too good to be true. That is why when a wish erects upon the rays of hope; it leaves behind a shadow of grope. Still, in fear I hope, in hope I fear.


We, the ppl, crave for peace and happiness since Adam, or the Great Ape; but yet somehow always stuck in bloodswamps for various reasons. like the troops in iraq.
N so many other significant members making major decisions that could affect the world unwillingly, yea n I meant getting addicted to youtubes lol

I’m glad that I hav yet another safe year last year. I’m still alive, in one piece, w functional brain n body (yea esp certain parts :P), a complete family, caring friends and ignorant bastards m yada yada, wat can be bttr? Seriously, datz all I need to live on. Do I always think lk that? No. especially when I hav an argument w my sis :P but at least I do think about that yaha. Last year has been very rich tho quiet as in it let me see so many things so clearly. Its surprisingly, excitingly pleasant when ur able to see things with perceivably great clarity, tho sometimes it flickers across my mind that it would be great if I could see through things literally lol. Personally, I enjoy the irony in me no more. It makes me an interesting individual tho. Hope I’ll get rid of that pretty soon. And I will. Making that an agenda this year, I have become happier a man :P

On another note I wanna sincerely thank all my precious friends for being who they are. They would never realized that a thing they say sometimes does make me think(sometimes more than twice). Never would they know as well, how much they have helped when I dwelt too much into depression and self-doubt, through just the normal things we do- jogging, talking crap, working out, blogging, having a drink together or just being there with me, or even jus knowing that u cared when I could have ‘phantomized’ my existence even more. I owe my happiness to u guys n my family as well.

Perhaps the tone of the writing is deceiving in a way that I have been living an absolutely hakuna matata life. Like I have told many of my frens, I have been living like a retiree even when I have not started working permanently in my life. Probably after a few days of intensively celebrative days, I’m feeling the relative downs despite of still being happy.
I have learned with life that happiness is really potent in every single thing in life, after I have felt it in every thing I do recently. Lying in the sofa doing nothing, cooking with my sis, doing grocery shopping w my sis or frens, doing weight training at home, reading, having something to eat when hungry, having some frens around when I dun feel lk being alone…they all make me peacefully happy. Tranquility has become another facet/façade of my source of happiness. (not sure if this is a sign ageing tho :P)

Welcoming the new year as well, I have figured out wat I want to do and where I want to be. The how process is difficult and might be another scarcely probable mission. However, knowing wat to do with known difficulty tho extreme, to me, is still better than not knowing wat to do. :P

The years begone have enriched me to come to realize that everything I have now is a bliss, n its evolving(for the bttr). It feels lk time is really a good filter that after time what is left is the best. It applies to interests, friends, personal credentials, individual character and perhaps quality of life too :P.

I hope u feel the same.
And that ur happy there.
And I love u.
All of u.

With alacrity, I’m laying my hopes for the best of u and of me and of everybody (who loves peace :P)

To the world, Adam is joining u very soon.
Bid myself a smooth sail ahead.
Cheerio.
2007, Bonjour~

p/s congrats guys for winning the world’s esl, wished I could be there tho :P
p/s 2, n yea i have a new niece born healthily yaha~~