Just because
i sed u would be pleasantly surprised
i updated my links section
hope u like it
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Home
Well, without realizing i have been lazing at home for a week plus now.
If laziness is one of the symptoms for post expedition blues, then i shall conclude that i have been suffering quite severely. Almost acute :P
Have been talking about joggin for the past 4 days or so, but only ran for some 1 km before it rained. However, wateva discipline and determination lost in sports are converted in my tv/serie marathon addiction. Nearly screwed up the trial day for a part time because of that :P
The highlite of my return has to be mom failing to recognize me. I waved at her afar, but she only recognized me when she's 2m away from me. Well at least i had fun waving in public for some 10 secs.
After all the fun and life experience, itz now time to think about my future more seriously. Application for masters done. Only need to get a proper job. M sure there's a tonne of vacant financial jobs awaiting me to fill in with my aerospace degree lol. Sounds really ridiculous; but that's wat i do.
On another note, i'm enjoyin the on-going catching ups with my frens even after a week. think it will be a minor grand project for short future.
Will share my expedition stories later.
but before that
i am back~!
call me if ur free
till then, cheerio
Well, without realizing i have been lazing at home for a week plus now.
If laziness is one of the symptoms for post expedition blues, then i shall conclude that i have been suffering quite severely. Almost acute :P
Have been talking about joggin for the past 4 days or so, but only ran for some 1 km before it rained. However, wateva discipline and determination lost in sports are converted in my tv/serie marathon addiction. Nearly screwed up the trial day for a part time because of that :P
The highlite of my return has to be mom failing to recognize me. I waved at her afar, but she only recognized me when she's 2m away from me. Well at least i had fun waving in public for some 10 secs.
After all the fun and life experience, itz now time to think about my future more seriously. Application for masters done. Only need to get a proper job. M sure there's a tonne of vacant financial jobs awaiting me to fill in with my aerospace degree lol. Sounds really ridiculous; but that's wat i do.
On another note, i'm enjoyin the on-going catching ups with my frens even after a week. think it will be a minor grand project for short future.
Will share my expedition stories later.
but before that
i am back~!
call me if ur free
till then, cheerio
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I neva had felt the slightest negative sentiment from my fundraising effort, despite of the hardship, frustration and wat not that come along with it. The surreal ambition of selling 200 packs in less than a week; the dimly glittering hope to get favorable response from the sponsor and to be able to raise enough fund altogether and the sudden drastic change in my fundraising plans and the increasing constraints i had, did not make me feel busted. Not a bit. Not even a split second. Not a single thought.
I'm feelin sorry for my fundraising plea today. Very. For a split second i din wanna continue selling no more. Even though the thought was washed away not too long after it emerged, it din wash away the sense of guilt i have. I really feel sorry. That keeps the possibility of me not being able to sell enthusiastically flickering. Unpredictably.
A very close buddy, indeed an almost-lifelong fren to-date, was placed in a very difficult position tryin to help me. Then the sayin that fundraising is a bitch echoes in me. I'm no longer sure that i'll be able to refute that with absolute certainty. At least not at the moment. And a bigger question was whether its fundraising or its me who is the bitch. That's a very heavy question occupyin my mind now. I'm too tired now to think for the answer. And i really do not know wat to say to my fren. It sucks. Trully. Honestly i'm still not sure that it happened because of me. But i jus cant help thinkin/feelin that i'm a factor. directly or indirectly.
And i was gonna post something bubbly today. After visitin a teacher, had a union dinner with another teacher and some other old buddies.
Its dispelled now.
First Do No Harm.
Did i?
I'm feelin sorry for my fundraising plea today. Very. For a split second i din wanna continue selling no more. Even though the thought was washed away not too long after it emerged, it din wash away the sense of guilt i have. I really feel sorry. That keeps the possibility of me not being able to sell enthusiastically flickering. Unpredictably.
A very close buddy, indeed an almost-lifelong fren to-date, was placed in a very difficult position tryin to help me. Then the sayin that fundraising is a bitch echoes in me. I'm no longer sure that i'll be able to refute that with absolute certainty. At least not at the moment. And a bigger question was whether its fundraising or its me who is the bitch. That's a very heavy question occupyin my mind now. I'm too tired now to think for the answer. And i really do not know wat to say to my fren. It sucks. Trully. Honestly i'm still not sure that it happened because of me. But i jus cant help thinkin/feelin that i'm a factor. directly or indirectly.
And i was gonna post something bubbly today. After visitin a teacher, had a union dinner with another teacher and some other old buddies.
Its dispelled now.
First Do No Harm.
Did i?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Man sometimes i jus love being myself. Energetic.
Datz y i still cant slp at 0435. And thats the punishment for drinkin a cup of saigon coffee in the afternoon. Great.
I did great selling yee sang 2day. First time ever, i managed to hit my daily sales target of 30 packs. Honestly, i really din see this coming despite of setting the target myself. But then, the figure was determined out of necessity rather than probability. And to be even more honest, i really dun think i can do this everyday till i leave for real. A good boost to my morale though. I'm slightly closer to the fundraising target. I owe this mental 100+ to my family- my aunts , cousins, sisters and etc. Apart from the sales, their support is immeasurable. Even my youngest sis bought yee sang from me using her ang pow dough. My fren from the states called her mum here to buy yee sang from me. My cousins and aunts, trumpeting and closing deals in a family gathering, to help me reach the unreachable. 30 per packs. i really din expect to be able to do that, despite of the increasing pressure to do so everyday for a week.
Apart from that i'm also happy to talk to some cousins whom i have not seen for ages. Guess that's all for the day.
And i still cant slp...
Datz y i still cant slp at 0435. And thats the punishment for drinkin a cup of saigon coffee in the afternoon. Great.
I did great selling yee sang 2day. First time ever, i managed to hit my daily sales target of 30 packs. Honestly, i really din see this coming despite of setting the target myself. But then, the figure was determined out of necessity rather than probability. And to be even more honest, i really dun think i can do this everyday till i leave for real. A good boost to my morale though. I'm slightly closer to the fundraising target. I owe this mental 100+ to my family- my aunts , cousins, sisters and etc. Apart from the sales, their support is immeasurable. Even my youngest sis bought yee sang from me using her ang pow dough. My fren from the states called her mum here to buy yee sang from me. My cousins and aunts, trumpeting and closing deals in a family gathering, to help me reach the unreachable. 30 per packs. i really din expect to be able to do that, despite of the increasing pressure to do so everyday for a week.
Apart from that i'm also happy to talk to some cousins whom i have not seen for ages. Guess that's all for the day.
And i still cant slp...
Saturday, February 17, 2007
V for vivified Valentines II
Well yea we were late at delivery but still managed to make it.
Then we pulled off straight away to 1u, hoping to catch a movie triumphantly. But then we were too late so we just ended up havin dinner(except yumin as she was playin bball), while i was slp'g most of the time. Think some disease crept into me since then which later on prevailed. (Yup i still needed to go 2 my class and to my cousin's place for discussion).
Along with the near dead sick experience, this Vday was an eye opener in many ways.
i would neva had been able to imagine the backstage of a lustrous Vday. O yea imagine the celebration of Vday(mainly by the consumers) is like a stage play; then the it requires a functional backstage to support it. Here, i mean the service industry, restaurants, and all other that provides for or facilitates lovers great romance and wat not. The one that i was closedly exposed to was the florist industry. Without this fundraising, i would neva extend my imagination to ponder the likes of a florists workin days and nights to deliver their orders. So is the increasing prosperity at the florist shop as Vday nearing. So these are the supportive backstage players who hassled tirelessly to make Vday show a success. While the seemingly romantic silky smooth Vday is going on, there's fierce undercurrent behind the scene, which is most of the time invisible to most of the people. Unless ur one of it. Or unless ur really observant and see the workers ants working to build the queen a pinkish nest of her dream.
It trully has enriched my life.
Especially when i have a great gang of ppl workin along with me throughout the process.
It would not hav worked if we missed anyone of those faithful members doing what they did. Everyone of them.
Thanx pal. If i hav not said that to u. And if u happened to come across my low profile expression channel.
Who are we?
What are we?
Charlie.
We managed to tame the seemingly oddity again~! Yaha.
Ad
Well yea we were late at delivery but still managed to make it.
Then we pulled off straight away to 1u, hoping to catch a movie triumphantly. But then we were too late so we just ended up havin dinner(except yumin as she was playin bball), while i was slp'g most of the time. Think some disease crept into me since then which later on prevailed. (Yup i still needed to go 2 my class and to my cousin's place for discussion).
Along with the near dead sick experience, this Vday was an eye opener in many ways.
i would neva had been able to imagine the backstage of a lustrous Vday. O yea imagine the celebration of Vday(mainly by the consumers) is like a stage play; then the it requires a functional backstage to support it. Here, i mean the service industry, restaurants, and all other that provides for or facilitates lovers great romance and wat not. The one that i was closedly exposed to was the florist industry. Without this fundraising, i would neva extend my imagination to ponder the likes of a florists workin days and nights to deliver their orders. So is the increasing prosperity at the florist shop as Vday nearing. So these are the supportive backstage players who hassled tirelessly to make Vday show a success. While the seemingly romantic silky smooth Vday is going on, there's fierce undercurrent behind the scene, which is most of the time invisible to most of the people. Unless ur one of it. Or unless ur really observant and see the workers ants working to build the queen a pinkish nest of her dream.
It trully has enriched my life.
Especially when i have a great gang of ppl workin along with me throughout the process.
It would not hav worked if we missed anyone of those faithful members doing what they did. Everyone of them.
Thanx pal. If i hav not said that to u. And if u happened to come across my low profile expression channel.
Who are we?
What are we?
Charlie.
We managed to tame the seemingly oddity again~! Yaha.
Ad
Friday, February 16, 2007
V for Vivified Valentines
Now this Valentine's 07, is surely gonna be a very memorable one.
Keen rightfully refers to the period we were tested as the 48 hours of being florists.
This 48 hours is rich that so much has happened. Dramatic things. (and i mean it)
Prison Break- well with due respect, prison here refers to heay's hostel. She was grounded in her hostel and was prohibited to come out. I was waiting out there at 12 something am, communicating with her to collaborate some prison break plans, with my engine breathing at the entrance/exit. Waiting for her to rush out like an uncaged tiger(waowww~!), and (then) i'll bust off beyond the guards vision. Cool, i think, i hav seen this on screen over and over again, o yeah for a second i felt like my real name was Bandito Ho yaha~.
One min.... 2 min...
lol then for the following 5 minutes or so, nothing happened. i waited there by the road, and things started to be awkward. The guards peeped at me at times. i think they seriously think that i wanna kidnap innocent girls from their hostels. Heay buzzed and said that she cant jus walk out like that.
ok. Plan B. I suggested her to find some place where she could sneak out. Alas~She was tailed by 2 dedicated guards. ok, i will drive back to the base for the nite i guess.
Alrite, one man down. The war continued nonetheless. We need to battle against time to succeed in our clandestine project.
Lost- After the prison break drama, in which the protagonist failed to escape, i was on my lonesome journey back to The Base. Well i must admit that i wasnt really familiar with the routes there, but then i was slightly distracted by a msg beep and i took a right turn prematurely. And my roller coaster lost experience started when the highway started. With only one energy bar on my fon, i could only msg my frens economically. In a total strange highway, my worry was not that much of being lost, goin back home was not a question. Getting back to the base in time was my primary concern. One man's down. We cant afford another man lost.
So i took a very long detour like in the amazing race. With substantial difficulty i finally reached the Base safely. lol i can still imagine the breath that escaped from my chest when i saw the base :P
Remember Alamo lolllll yaha
The world is Flat - well wen i reached the base, its already around 1 to 2 am. Well, i was briefed of the situation there at the base. Alrite, we lost Heay (for that nite), along with her expertise wrapping couple and triplet bears. Utilizing the state of the art communication technology, one of the world's flattener as Thomas Friedman regarded as in his book, Keen started to msn with Heay to ask her how 2 wrap the teddies. So Heay skilfully drew a few 3-d pictures that illustrated the procedure of how to do the job. Well that stimulated some laughter among Xin and Keen. (i was not in the communication room until they laughed and wanted to share the joke). So the conclusion was, yea let's figure it out ourselves.
Sweet 18- While Xin and Keen were talking to Heay, Yumin and i were at downstairs most of the time. ocassionally i joined them and shared some fun. Then one of the motion in discussion was: how to get a lighter. It's Yumin's bday on that day, yea, she's a St.Valentino, born on the Vday.
We smuggled a cake into her house and was gonna ambush her with gr8 surprise. But then we had everything but the fire. So that discussion went on for a while, even after i left them, until they decided to give up fire and go green. Yea without candle light, we reduce a bit of CO2 emission, not 2 4get that the candles can be used again (reuse). lol We can contribute to the success of Kyoto Protocol hahaha. So yea, itz really cute to have a cake with candles erected without light. Xin and Keen surprised us by a sudden choir of Happy Bday and i joined rite after. So thats a really short break from work to hav a really cool and voracious supper. Of cuz, we din forget to take quite some pictures of above average oddity and absurdity lol. Yaha happy bday Yumin. But the bday gal din get any privillege after that, she still had to enslave herself to keep workin. :P (At the meantime, Heay was refining the presentation of some poems from 2 of our dearest customers in her lonesome lil cell...lol )
Sleepless in Subang- after some celebrative break, we all went back to our work. Well i mainly tied the teddies 2gether violently and stabilized them(violently too), as i dun have delicate skills in other areas. Keen turned pro in makin fancy ribbon ties. Xin became an expert in artificial blossoming exercise for some shy roses. Yumin was wrappin flowers and later on teddies. That continued until dawn broke. At the same time, silence was broken as well as Yumin's pets woke up, and when the terrier came harrass us :P (we were more like pets as we guarded the house awake while the dogs r slp'g lol)
The Departed- The remainin cake was finished off as breakfast. In great haste. Then we departed, with different missions on our shoulder. Yumin and Xin went to scool, to deliver the roses and to pamper some receivers of slightly malnutritioned roses. While Keen and I went to pick Heay up to form the three musketeers, or the Charmed, to assure continuity of production, as we ran short of roses. So we went to P St, and had wonderful porridge. A good kickstart to grab the best roses with lotsa other competitors at the florist's shop. We managed to get pretty roses, yaha. (honestly i felt sorry for those who got their roses before this, cuz they r really of different grades :P). So then we invaded Heay's college and set our base there. Time was tight as we needed to settle the balance in less than 2 hours and deliver them to Yumin and Xin.
Visit Malaysia 2007- I was running late as their recess ends at 1230. I left the college at around 1150. I'll fly my way there i thot. i had to. But bravo, our 1st world's traffic facility was extremely sluggish for anonymous reasons. I started snailing from sunway to pj. So thats where our toll charges go to. n yea i was late. So the plan is changed. I'd pick up Keen and Heay from the production base and rush to deliver the stuff to our agents inside the scool at 1510. We left the place at 1450. We thot another road was the escape for us from the traffic matrix. Nay we fell in another. I wonder if its really an asian thing, as they claim malaysia is trully asia. So we were late. Tired.Weary. But we did it~!
oops time to pick my sis up from scool. Part 2 and pix later. cheerio
Now this Valentine's 07, is surely gonna be a very memorable one.
Keen rightfully refers to the period we were tested as the 48 hours of being florists.
This 48 hours is rich that so much has happened. Dramatic things. (and i mean it)
Prison Break- well with due respect, prison here refers to heay's hostel. She was grounded in her hostel and was prohibited to come out. I was waiting out there at 12 something am, communicating with her to collaborate some prison break plans, with my engine breathing at the entrance/exit. Waiting for her to rush out like an uncaged tiger(waowww~!), and (then) i'll bust off beyond the guards vision. Cool, i think, i hav seen this on screen over and over again, o yeah for a second i felt like my real name was Bandito Ho yaha~.
One min.... 2 min...
lol then for the following 5 minutes or so, nothing happened. i waited there by the road, and things started to be awkward. The guards peeped at me at times. i think they seriously think that i wanna kidnap innocent girls from their hostels. Heay buzzed and said that she cant jus walk out like that.
ok. Plan B. I suggested her to find some place where she could sneak out. Alas~She was tailed by 2 dedicated guards. ok, i will drive back to the base for the nite i guess.
Alrite, one man down. The war continued nonetheless. We need to battle against time to succeed in our clandestine project.
Lost- After the prison break drama, in which the protagonist failed to escape, i was on my lonesome journey back to The Base. Well i must admit that i wasnt really familiar with the routes there, but then i was slightly distracted by a msg beep and i took a right turn prematurely. And my roller coaster lost experience started when the highway started. With only one energy bar on my fon, i could only msg my frens economically. In a total strange highway, my worry was not that much of being lost, goin back home was not a question. Getting back to the base in time was my primary concern. One man's down. We cant afford another man lost.
So i took a very long detour like in the amazing race. With substantial difficulty i finally reached the Base safely. lol i can still imagine the breath that escaped from my chest when i saw the base :P
Remember Alamo lolllll yaha
The world is Flat - well wen i reached the base, its already around 1 to 2 am. Well, i was briefed of the situation there at the base. Alrite, we lost Heay (for that nite), along with her expertise wrapping couple and triplet bears. Utilizing the state of the art communication technology, one of the world's flattener as Thomas Friedman regarded as in his book, Keen started to msn with Heay to ask her how 2 wrap the teddies. So Heay skilfully drew a few 3-d pictures that illustrated the procedure of how to do the job. Well that stimulated some laughter among Xin and Keen. (i was not in the communication room until they laughed and wanted to share the joke). So the conclusion was, yea let's figure it out ourselves.
Sweet 18- While Xin and Keen were talking to Heay, Yumin and i were at downstairs most of the time. ocassionally i joined them and shared some fun. Then one of the motion in discussion was: how to get a lighter. It's Yumin's bday on that day, yea, she's a St.Valentino, born on the Vday.
We smuggled a cake into her house and was gonna ambush her with gr8 surprise. But then we had everything but the fire. So that discussion went on for a while, even after i left them, until they decided to give up fire and go green. Yea without candle light, we reduce a bit of CO2 emission, not 2 4get that the candles can be used again (reuse). lol We can contribute to the success of Kyoto Protocol hahaha. So yea, itz really cute to have a cake with candles erected without light. Xin and Keen surprised us by a sudden choir of Happy Bday and i joined rite after. So thats a really short break from work to hav a really cool and voracious supper. Of cuz, we din forget to take quite some pictures of above average oddity and absurdity lol. Yaha happy bday Yumin. But the bday gal din get any privillege after that, she still had to enslave herself to keep workin. :P (At the meantime, Heay was refining the presentation of some poems from 2 of our dearest customers in her lonesome lil cell...lol )
Sleepless in Subang- after some celebrative break, we all went back to our work. Well i mainly tied the teddies 2gether violently and stabilized them(violently too), as i dun have delicate skills in other areas. Keen turned pro in makin fancy ribbon ties. Xin became an expert in artificial blossoming exercise for some shy roses. Yumin was wrappin flowers and later on teddies. That continued until dawn broke. At the same time, silence was broken as well as Yumin's pets woke up, and when the terrier came harrass us :P (we were more like pets as we guarded the house awake while the dogs r slp'g lol)
The Departed- The remainin cake was finished off as breakfast. In great haste. Then we departed, with different missions on our shoulder. Yumin and Xin went to scool, to deliver the roses and to pamper some receivers of slightly malnutritioned roses. While Keen and I went to pick Heay up to form the three musketeers, or the Charmed, to assure continuity of production, as we ran short of roses. So we went to P St, and had wonderful porridge. A good kickstart to grab the best roses with lotsa other competitors at the florist's shop. We managed to get pretty roses, yaha. (honestly i felt sorry for those who got their roses before this, cuz they r really of different grades :P). So then we invaded Heay's college and set our base there. Time was tight as we needed to settle the balance in less than 2 hours and deliver them to Yumin and Xin.
Visit Malaysia 2007- I was running late as their recess ends at 1230. I left the college at around 1150. I'll fly my way there i thot. i had to. But bravo, our 1st world's traffic facility was extremely sluggish for anonymous reasons. I started snailing from sunway to pj. So thats where our toll charges go to. n yea i was late. So the plan is changed. I'd pick up Keen and Heay from the production base and rush to deliver the stuff to our agents inside the scool at 1510. We left the place at 1450. We thot another road was the escape for us from the traffic matrix. Nay we fell in another. I wonder if its really an asian thing, as they claim malaysia is trully asia. So we were late. Tired.Weary. But we did it~!
oops time to pick my sis up from scool. Part 2 and pix later. cheerio
Saturday, January 20, 2007
i'm touched today. again - when i heard my fren telling his story.
i din share his experience in that sense, but i noe wat it takes for one to narrate a story like that.
i like to read and watch movies. i hav come across ideas, plots, dramas, and stories which r much more majestically tragic than that.
but when some one u cared sincerely shared his/her heart and soul, the impact, as a human would feel, is much more thorough than any films could arouse.
i was pumped with all sorts of unidentical feelings running in my veins when i got his stories and were literally stunned for a few sec.
i really was and am still sorry to hear that. i really am.
i hope i were bttr help. but as a fren, i'm happy to c him stayin strong and lookin at things on the bright side. equally happy for him to share his experience with me, jus like how i'm learnin to share my feelings with other ppl more. for(the very fact) i'm able to feel the friction, perhaps a lil more than others.
i shall treasure all the kids in my family (which are a sudden boom lately). i like them so much, and therefore i could relate to imagine ur loss my fren. thr's no end to learn to appreciate everything one has in life. i think i'm really living a lil more through the words i play with now.
my frens, i'm feeling u more than i could, as my life experience is enriched by the day.
i seldom pray. but my sincerest prayers are with the newborn.
i would be equally happy should he live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
i shall pray with the emotions and wishes i have for my own sis, nieces and nephews, for the blessings upon the kid. i'm not sure wat good it does, but i certainly hope it helps in one way or another, directly or indirectly.
i have seen a mirror of life in a day. two sides of it. its also the full month celebration of my niece.
glad that ur hanging tough. gambatte my fren. bonnuit.
good nite and good luck.
ad
p/s- i'm not sure if u mind me posting this, hence the conscious effort to try to retract from detailing ur story too much. hope its not crossing wat it should hav been. pls let me noe if i had crossed the line, for i would be more than willing to edit wherever inapproprite.
i din share his experience in that sense, but i noe wat it takes for one to narrate a story like that.
i like to read and watch movies. i hav come across ideas, plots, dramas, and stories which r much more majestically tragic than that.
but when some one u cared sincerely shared his/her heart and soul, the impact, as a human would feel, is much more thorough than any films could arouse.
i was pumped with all sorts of unidentical feelings running in my veins when i got his stories and were literally stunned for a few sec.
i really was and am still sorry to hear that. i really am.
i hope i were bttr help. but as a fren, i'm happy to c him stayin strong and lookin at things on the bright side. equally happy for him to share his experience with me, jus like how i'm learnin to share my feelings with other ppl more. for(the very fact) i'm able to feel the friction, perhaps a lil more than others.
i shall treasure all the kids in my family (which are a sudden boom lately). i like them so much, and therefore i could relate to imagine ur loss my fren. thr's no end to learn to appreciate everything one has in life. i think i'm really living a lil more through the words i play with now.
my frens, i'm feeling u more than i could, as my life experience is enriched by the day.
i seldom pray. but my sincerest prayers are with the newborn.
i would be equally happy should he live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
i shall pray with the emotions and wishes i have for my own sis, nieces and nephews, for the blessings upon the kid. i'm not sure wat good it does, but i certainly hope it helps in one way or another, directly or indirectly.
i have seen a mirror of life in a day. two sides of it. its also the full month celebration of my niece.
glad that ur hanging tough. gambatte my fren. bonnuit.
good nite and good luck.
ad
p/s- i'm not sure if u mind me posting this, hence the conscious effort to try to retract from detailing ur story too much. hope its not crossing wat it should hav been. pls let me noe if i had crossed the line, for i would be more than willing to edit wherever inapproprite.
Monday, January 15, 2007
RIW(12-15/01/07)-Charlie the Champ not the Chimp~!
yaha~~~we survived the camp!
well it was certainly an awesome experience. glad that i had my teammates with me, equally happy with the facilitators assigned to us, and the game design, and the organizin comm, n etc ...
i will not (i hope lol, n i hope we shan't) forget :
singing outloud hakuna matata, negaraku n some other incredibly stupid if not childish songs hikin up hill :P ;
soaking in the river together n doing other stupid things that one can do at the river with imagination ;
whoop it up with the group cheer religiously, even when time does not allow that :P ;
sliding , falling, tripping in style(at times ugly, o lord i hav neva fallen so many times a day in my life for my sense of balancing is at least average if not good :P) ;
and having a hole at my ass(o yea the ass whipping hot sensation);
and wearing mud all over, at times even munching mud;
and being saved by xin all the time;
and listening to steve saying i cant take this no more throughout the trek but neva quit (ur my man bro~!) ;
pinching or being pinched at my face and being slapped becuz of mozzies that din exist ;
doing the penguin warm up routine together after near-frozen experience (yea rivers arent always comfy :P, for such emotional lovers they are);
being fully awake watching the trees n the sky on the 1st nite while others r slp'g sweetly(while prayin hard that the staff come n wake us up asap);
slp'g so close to each other that leon's face was jus 50 milimeter rite in front of mine if i turned inward (datz so geli, n so brokeback ;P) ;
playing games that i hav no clue at all while a sea of voices from the kids saying that yea i played this b4, we should... ;
fooling around with absurd ideas of fundraising (all the time) ;
doin the thai accent shit talkin about ping pong party 200 bath and ended with sowatdeekrap :P trying the tests together (and failing too :P) ;
sharing a chocolate bar on the bus :P ;
who are we ;
what are we ;
CHARLIE ;
man u kids hav got no idea wat u hav done to(enrich) my life (positively)
n man u wont hav a clue how much i hav learned from u
i sincerely hope that u'll be blessed with fulfilling years ahead of u
who are me? CHARLIE~
what are we? THE CHAMP
Charlie!!
Charlie Charlie Chit Bom Bom
Wuuuuuu~~~~Ahhh~
with warmest regards
yaha~~~we survived the camp!
well it was certainly an awesome experience. glad that i had my teammates with me, equally happy with the facilitators assigned to us, and the game design, and the organizin comm, n etc ...
i will not (i hope lol, n i hope we shan't) forget :
singing outloud hakuna matata, negaraku n some other incredibly stupid if not childish songs hikin up hill :P ;
soaking in the river together n doing other stupid things that one can do at the river with imagination ;
whoop it up with the group cheer religiously, even when time does not allow that :P ;
sliding , falling, tripping in style(at times ugly, o lord i hav neva fallen so many times a day in my life for my sense of balancing is at least average if not good :P) ;
and having a hole at my ass(o yea the ass whipping hot sensation);
and wearing mud all over, at times even munching mud;
and being saved by xin all the time;
and listening to steve saying i cant take this no more throughout the trek but neva quit (ur my man bro~!) ;
pinching or being pinched at my face and being slapped becuz of mozzies that din exist ;
doing the penguin warm up routine together after near-frozen experience (yea rivers arent always comfy :P, for such emotional lovers they are);
being fully awake watching the trees n the sky on the 1st nite while others r slp'g sweetly(while prayin hard that the staff come n wake us up asap);
slp'g so close to each other that leon's face was jus 50 milimeter rite in front of mine if i turned inward (datz so geli, n so brokeback ;P) ;
playing games that i hav no clue at all while a sea of voices from the kids saying that yea i played this b4, we should... ;
fooling around with absurd ideas of fundraising (all the time) ;
doin the thai accent shit talkin about ping pong party 200 bath and ended with sowatdeekrap :P trying the tests together (and failing too :P) ;
sharing a chocolate bar on the bus :P ;
who are we ;
what are we ;
CHARLIE ;
man u kids hav got no idea wat u hav done to(enrich) my life (positively)
n man u wont hav a clue how much i hav learned from u
i sincerely hope that u'll be blessed with fulfilling years ahead of u
who are me? CHARLIE~
what are we? THE CHAMP
Charlie!!
Charlie Charlie Chit Bom Bom
Wuuuuuu~~~~Ahhh~
with warmest regards
Thursday, January 04, 2007
2007-The Irony, the Hope and the Alacrity
Thr’s always a thing with great irony/apparent contrast. At least to me.
In close to absolute silence, my heart speaks loudest.
But, however loud my heart speaks, she did/does not stop me.
To run from fear, and to fear of runs.
Run is the undesired manifestation of a gratifying pull-I run away from what pulls me towards it.
Probably that’s why I have a thing for irony, especially cynical contrasts that reflect themselves upon my action opposite to my feelings.
But wat on earth m I doing while my heart speaks? And when my mind answers to that?
A simple answer : …?
Lol, like I hav always said, I dun need to drink to get drunk ya :P
Lol perhaps feeling the new year, pondering about wat she brings.
Flashing back 2006, or even years before that wheneva relevant; like how ur linked to the archive of Iraq when u read about Saddam; like tasting a glass of wine after meal, not thinking anything n yet ur mind gets wild like a drunken mustang. Especially true for a person with a hyperactively jumpy mind, like the scattered sparklets of the firework I saw that said hi to 2007. Voila. Across the globe, almost everyone, and every mind and every heart wishes for a better year. The wishes invited Tsunami last year and 8 bombs this year. Probably Saddam’s execution answers to some Kurd’s or Shiite’s wish, but arguably is a milestone of a bttr year. I just could not help but to compare the dazzling fireworks that shone above me and the fireworks that took place on the ground in Bangkok and in many places of military conflicts. I made my resolution n wished for the bttr when I was visually showered by the amusing beauty of the firework; but what would I have thought n done if I was in the latter scenario?
And again my mind is scattered, at some point hollow, maybe because I can’t bear the scarce probability of another wish (dream) comes true. Yea sometimes ppl do wish for something too good to be true. That is why when a wish erects upon the rays of hope; it leaves behind a shadow of grope. Still, in fear I hope, in hope I fear.
We, the ppl, crave for peace and happiness since Adam, or the Great Ape; but yet somehow always stuck in bloodswamps for various reasons. like the troops in iraq.
N so many other significant members making major decisions that could affect the world unwillingly, yea n I meant getting addicted to youtubes lol
I’m glad that I hav yet another safe year last year. I’m still alive, in one piece, w functional brain n body (yea esp certain parts :P), a complete family, caring friends and ignorant bastards m yada yada, wat can be bttr? Seriously, datz all I need to live on. Do I always think lk that? No. especially when I hav an argument w my sis :P but at least I do think about that yaha. Last year has been very rich tho quiet as in it let me see so many things so clearly. Its surprisingly, excitingly pleasant when ur able to see things with perceivably great clarity, tho sometimes it flickers across my mind that it would be great if I could see through things literally lol. Personally, I enjoy the irony in me no more. It makes me an interesting individual tho. Hope I’ll get rid of that pretty soon. And I will. Making that an agenda this year, I have become happier a man :P
On another note I wanna sincerely thank all my precious friends for being who they are. They would never realized that a thing they say sometimes does make me think(sometimes more than twice). Never would they know as well, how much they have helped when I dwelt too much into depression and self-doubt, through just the normal things we do- jogging, talking crap, working out, blogging, having a drink together or just being there with me, or even jus knowing that u cared when I could have ‘phantomized’ my existence even more. I owe my happiness to u guys n my family as well.
Perhaps the tone of the writing is deceiving in a way that I have been living an absolutely hakuna matata life. Like I have told many of my frens, I have been living like a retiree even when I have not started working permanently in my life. Probably after a few days of intensively celebrative days, I’m feeling the relative downs despite of still being happy.
I have learned with life that happiness is really potent in every single thing in life, after I have felt it in every thing I do recently. Lying in the sofa doing nothing, cooking with my sis, doing grocery shopping w my sis or frens, doing weight training at home, reading, having something to eat when hungry, having some frens around when I dun feel lk being alone…they all make me peacefully happy. Tranquility has become another facet/façade of my source of happiness. (not sure if this is a sign ageing tho :P)
Welcoming the new year as well, I have figured out wat I want to do and where I want to be. The how process is difficult and might be another scarcely probable mission. However, knowing wat to do with known difficulty tho extreme, to me, is still better than not knowing wat to do. :P
The years begone have enriched me to come to realize that everything I have now is a bliss, n its evolving(for the bttr). It feels lk time is really a good filter that after time what is left is the best. It applies to interests, friends, personal credentials, individual character and perhaps quality of life too :P.
I hope u feel the same.
And that ur happy there.
And I love u.
All of u.
With alacrity, I’m laying my hopes for the best of u and of me and of everybody (who loves peace :P)
To the world, Adam is joining u very soon.
Bid myself a smooth sail ahead.
Cheerio.
2007, Bonjour~
p/s congrats guys for winning the world’s esl, wished I could be there tho :P
p/s 2, n yea i have a new niece born healthily yaha~~
Thr’s always a thing with great irony/apparent contrast. At least to me.
In close to absolute silence, my heart speaks loudest.
But, however loud my heart speaks, she did/does not stop me.
To run from fear, and to fear of runs.
Run is the undesired manifestation of a gratifying pull-I run away from what pulls me towards it.
Probably that’s why I have a thing for irony, especially cynical contrasts that reflect themselves upon my action opposite to my feelings.
But wat on earth m I doing while my heart speaks? And when my mind answers to that?
A simple answer : …?
Lol, like I hav always said, I dun need to drink to get drunk ya :P
Lol perhaps feeling the new year, pondering about wat she brings.
Flashing back 2006, or even years before that wheneva relevant; like how ur linked to the archive of Iraq when u read about Saddam; like tasting a glass of wine after meal, not thinking anything n yet ur mind gets wild like a drunken mustang. Especially true for a person with a hyperactively jumpy mind, like the scattered sparklets of the firework I saw that said hi to 2007. Voila. Across the globe, almost everyone, and every mind and every heart wishes for a better year. The wishes invited Tsunami last year and 8 bombs this year. Probably Saddam’s execution answers to some Kurd’s or Shiite’s wish, but arguably is a milestone of a bttr year. I just could not help but to compare the dazzling fireworks that shone above me and the fireworks that took place on the ground in Bangkok and in many places of military conflicts. I made my resolution n wished for the bttr when I was visually showered by the amusing beauty of the firework; but what would I have thought n done if I was in the latter scenario?
And again my mind is scattered, at some point hollow, maybe because I can’t bear the scarce probability of another wish (dream) comes true. Yea sometimes ppl do wish for something too good to be true. That is why when a wish erects upon the rays of hope; it leaves behind a shadow of grope. Still, in fear I hope, in hope I fear.
We, the ppl, crave for peace and happiness since Adam, or the Great Ape; but yet somehow always stuck in bloodswamps for various reasons. like the troops in iraq.
N so many other significant members making major decisions that could affect the world unwillingly, yea n I meant getting addicted to youtubes lol
I’m glad that I hav yet another safe year last year. I’m still alive, in one piece, w functional brain n body (yea esp certain parts :P), a complete family, caring friends and ignorant bastards m yada yada, wat can be bttr? Seriously, datz all I need to live on. Do I always think lk that? No. especially when I hav an argument w my sis :P but at least I do think about that yaha. Last year has been very rich tho quiet as in it let me see so many things so clearly. Its surprisingly, excitingly pleasant when ur able to see things with perceivably great clarity, tho sometimes it flickers across my mind that it would be great if I could see through things literally lol. Personally, I enjoy the irony in me no more. It makes me an interesting individual tho. Hope I’ll get rid of that pretty soon. And I will. Making that an agenda this year, I have become happier a man :P
On another note I wanna sincerely thank all my precious friends for being who they are. They would never realized that a thing they say sometimes does make me think(sometimes more than twice). Never would they know as well, how much they have helped when I dwelt too much into depression and self-doubt, through just the normal things we do- jogging, talking crap, working out, blogging, having a drink together or just being there with me, or even jus knowing that u cared when I could have ‘phantomized’ my existence even more. I owe my happiness to u guys n my family as well.
Perhaps the tone of the writing is deceiving in a way that I have been living an absolutely hakuna matata life. Like I have told many of my frens, I have been living like a retiree even when I have not started working permanently in my life. Probably after a few days of intensively celebrative days, I’m feeling the relative downs despite of still being happy.
I have learned with life that happiness is really potent in every single thing in life, after I have felt it in every thing I do recently. Lying in the sofa doing nothing, cooking with my sis, doing grocery shopping w my sis or frens, doing weight training at home, reading, having something to eat when hungry, having some frens around when I dun feel lk being alone…they all make me peacefully happy. Tranquility has become another facet/façade of my source of happiness. (not sure if this is a sign ageing tho :P)
Welcoming the new year as well, I have figured out wat I want to do and where I want to be. The how process is difficult and might be another scarcely probable mission. However, knowing wat to do with known difficulty tho extreme, to me, is still better than not knowing wat to do. :P
The years begone have enriched me to come to realize that everything I have now is a bliss, n its evolving(for the bttr). It feels lk time is really a good filter that after time what is left is the best. It applies to interests, friends, personal credentials, individual character and perhaps quality of life too :P.
I hope u feel the same.
And that ur happy there.
And I love u.
All of u.
With alacrity, I’m laying my hopes for the best of u and of me and of everybody (who loves peace :P)
To the world, Adam is joining u very soon.
Bid myself a smooth sail ahead.
Cheerio.
2007, Bonjour~
p/s congrats guys for winning the world’s esl, wished I could be there tho :P
p/s 2, n yea i have a new niece born healthily yaha~~
Friday, November 24, 2006
Adam is back. o yea, so wat about it?...
Honestly, there really is no answer for that, as wat it means cannot be more subjective.
And who really does care btw.
these past 2 or 3 months have been quite heavy, not simply becuz thr's so much to do, or to rush for, or to frail upon, or to worry about. it simply is that it seems to me that so much hav happened, too many twists. even more than the prestige. sometimes there even had no time for me 2 react.
its like the year has been procrastinating and saving all that could have or could not have happened and cram it within this period n observe how dynamic we can be.
of cuz, life goes on, eventually, after all the aftermath ripples rest, but it doesnt mean that taking it all from life and to learn will be as easy as it sounds.
but then dun get me wrong, nothing really sad happened, really.
eventho i learned with my life, i feel with my soul the meaning and importance of independence. trust me, regardless of how much historical events that cite independence that one can remember or understand, he/she will not really understand independence unless he/she has been pathetically reliant on somebody else, be it technically, financially, soulfully or physically in which the dependence is not welcomed and is not mutual.
u would have to feel begging mercy by chipping out ur pride, dignity and personal feelings and helplessly accept wateva conditions offered regardless of how ur treated. if ur desperate.
u would have to feel ur hopes being played up and down and ur trust being checked in or scrambled, neither at ur will but others.
only when u are canned, u would appreciate the meaning and the ability and the blessings jus for u to be independent as a person. like a prisoner being freed. like the belt around ur neck unchained. then u really feel wat independence is. not studying independence how ur gov is teaching on D national day year after year. it really is a state of mind.
sometimes, there's no short cut but pain to reach that world of independence;sometimes u need to be whipped in life to break free.
on another note, things appear to be like getting a hold of the mirage in the water. wateva it means, jus a feeling i momentarily have, lol probably a state of mind
till then i sincerely hope the best for all
and that every can appreciate every moment he/she lives to the fullest
i hope u see a road out if ur lost
i hope that i could hav been clearer and more organized and focused, but
its just a way of life of mine when i'm down but not depressed; lost but not desperate; having something in mind but quite disoriented; having something to say but not quite sure wat
Honestly, there really is no answer for that, as wat it means cannot be more subjective.
And who really does care btw.
these past 2 or 3 months have been quite heavy, not simply becuz thr's so much to do, or to rush for, or to frail upon, or to worry about. it simply is that it seems to me that so much hav happened, too many twists. even more than the prestige. sometimes there even had no time for me 2 react.
its like the year has been procrastinating and saving all that could have or could not have happened and cram it within this period n observe how dynamic we can be.
of cuz, life goes on, eventually, after all the aftermath ripples rest, but it doesnt mean that taking it all from life and to learn will be as easy as it sounds.
but then dun get me wrong, nothing really sad happened, really.
eventho i learned with my life, i feel with my soul the meaning and importance of independence. trust me, regardless of how much historical events that cite independence that one can remember or understand, he/she will not really understand independence unless he/she has been pathetically reliant on somebody else, be it technically, financially, soulfully or physically in which the dependence is not welcomed and is not mutual.
u would have to feel begging mercy by chipping out ur pride, dignity and personal feelings and helplessly accept wateva conditions offered regardless of how ur treated. if ur desperate.
u would have to feel ur hopes being played up and down and ur trust being checked in or scrambled, neither at ur will but others.
only when u are canned, u would appreciate the meaning and the ability and the blessings jus for u to be independent as a person. like a prisoner being freed. like the belt around ur neck unchained. then u really feel wat independence is. not studying independence how ur gov is teaching on D national day year after year. it really is a state of mind.
sometimes, there's no short cut but pain to reach that world of independence;sometimes u need to be whipped in life to break free.
on another note, things appear to be like getting a hold of the mirage in the water. wateva it means, jus a feeling i momentarily have, lol probably a state of mind
till then i sincerely hope the best for all
and that every can appreciate every moment he/she lives to the fullest
i hope u see a road out if ur lost
i hope that i could hav been clearer and more organized and focused, but
its just a way of life of mine when i'm down but not depressed; lost but not desperate; having something in mind but quite disoriented; having something to say but not quite sure wat
Friday, October 06, 2006
i certainly hv been missing for quite some time.. well wat else can i say.. the due date for my fyp is drawing near and its feeding ants into my chests. so wat then explains my presence here at the moment. unfortunately, its not for a good reason. i would rather slp if i could than 2 be here at this hour at my fren's house. well let's jus forget this, i should hav been wiser to hav avoided all this. no1 to be blamed but me.
let's jus hope that it wont affect me for the whole week.
life's really ironic, esp when u work so hard for something, u get swirled into the contrary. for instance, i worked so hard to live a healthier life. really cant recall when was the last time i slpt past 2 am n trust me that's real achievement for me. however,... wat else can i say?
first, like i said, i could hav avoided this if i were smart enough
2ndly, i cant be frustrated cuz some1's being inconsiderate when i myself hav not been able 2 clearly express my wants and how i feel
bet i'll jus suck it up this time. good nite and good luck
all the best to all of u
sincerely, despite of a boiling heart and steaming ears
cheerio
let's jus hope that it wont affect me for the whole week.
life's really ironic, esp when u work so hard for something, u get swirled into the contrary. for instance, i worked so hard to live a healthier life. really cant recall when was the last time i slpt past 2 am n trust me that's real achievement for me. however,... wat else can i say?
first, like i said, i could hav avoided this if i were smart enough
2ndly, i cant be frustrated cuz some1's being inconsiderate when i myself hav not been able 2 clearly express my wants and how i feel
bet i'll jus suck it up this time. good nite and good luck
all the best to all of u
sincerely, despite of a boiling heart and steaming ears
cheerio
Saturday, July 22, 2006
another laid back week, and while i'm peacefully resting
been back from NZ for a week now. as usual, a whole week is spent catching up w frens, more time w my sis, try talkin 2 ppl whom i wanna talk with, play w my nephews n nieces if not watching them play, oh yea itz daniel's bday yesterday. really cute. played w him n sha sha 2, who used 2 b afraid of me, but no more. trully a king of the kids i am, for i play w them as if i m a peer of theirs..lol. but unfortunately i din take their pic w my fon. had chloe's from a dinner few days ago. another niece i hav. i can only say that my cousins r pretty productive lol. i would say there were some happy moment over wat i did over the past one week.
definitely i hav not started my project 2. n datz literally haha. hope i can really do it as i'm still pretty clueless, n i think itz far beyond my league :P sigh need lotsa work n assistance and luck :P
the other day, the general ethics lecturer was making fun of US middle easterns' policies, and the lastest one way bombardment of lebanon and Israel's menace across the country over 2 kidnapped soldiers. My lec wasnt happy w the fact that many innocence are punished over 2 soldiers and US ignorance in this case. well US certainly does not, n most likely will not offer a benevolent hand, without an interest to pursue. n wat other bigger interest lebanon can offer, aside from itz famous lebanon bread n kebab that yields bttr goal than free service to bomb Hezbollah? haha datz y syria and iran are the problem of the middle east rather than those which r engaged in bombs exchange. sniff sniff , they sure noe wat they r smelling.. :P definitely not bread and kebabs. sad, but thats how things work.
meanwhile, our neighbour records one of itz most unfortunate year in recent history. volcano eruption, earthquake and tsunami hit that country in 2 months. while casualties are mounting, the aid and international attention is barely wat it was 2 years ago. n certainly and more importantly, less is achieved than it should for the past 2 years to predict such forceful geo-thermalogical activities to bttr protect the people. sadly, dun think lotsa ppl, esp those directly affected realize this. probably wat most ppl in the region need 2 study is the elected government and every individual's inter-relationship and each and every party's responbility to establish a functional democratic sys. probably they should read social contract..lol daz a book i bought recently. finally some serious reading after mentionin social contract to impress for the past 4 years. hmmm sometimes i wished i did more reading in the past n not now n not in the future.
at homeland, i certainly dunno y should the wedding of a celebrity cover the whole front page rather than a constitutional dispute over a historical review of the 2 most prominent races in the country. its trully sad if itz a mirror of the depth of ppl interest nowadays. n i thot the media plays a role in educating the ppl. guess i was wrong. n certainly the gov has done much 2 prevent the periodic haze problem that itz solution or any proposal is still unheard of. itz really frustating especially something that ppl feel with their own lungs and body, personally and economically, is not comparable to the news that the engagement ring is worth 400k. wat hav i done? certainly nothing, most probably wat i hav been doing will be wat i will be doing. thatz y i'm whining here, jus like many other more who jus noe how 2 talk. tho i personally believe more in action than words, i certainly hav not lived up to my belief. sad, mayb, but daz how ordinary i am. definitely not alone tho.
the world 2day i feel is more threatened than eva. more challenges, more conflicts, more disasters, more deaths. it requires more resilience of humanity that could be preserved not through wars. united we stand. but through out history, it shows that it easier for us 2 fall 2gether. real politics. real life. datz wat many believe. still some reservation for me. i hope thats not a bad thing.
been back from NZ for a week now. as usual, a whole week is spent catching up w frens, more time w my sis, try talkin 2 ppl whom i wanna talk with, play w my nephews n nieces if not watching them play, oh yea itz daniel's bday yesterday. really cute. played w him n sha sha 2, who used 2 b afraid of me, but no more. trully a king of the kids i am, for i play w them as if i m a peer of theirs..lol. but unfortunately i din take their pic w my fon. had chloe's from a dinner few days ago. another niece i hav. i can only say that my cousins r pretty productive lol. i would say there were some happy moment over wat i did over the past one week.
definitely i hav not started my project 2. n datz literally haha. hope i can really do it as i'm still pretty clueless, n i think itz far beyond my league :P sigh need lotsa work n assistance and luck :P
the other day, the general ethics lecturer was making fun of US middle easterns' policies, and the lastest one way bombardment of lebanon and Israel's menace across the country over 2 kidnapped soldiers. My lec wasnt happy w the fact that many innocence are punished over 2 soldiers and US ignorance in this case. well US certainly does not, n most likely will not offer a benevolent hand, without an interest to pursue. n wat other bigger interest lebanon can offer, aside from itz famous lebanon bread n kebab that yields bttr goal than free service to bomb Hezbollah? haha datz y syria and iran are the problem of the middle east rather than those which r engaged in bombs exchange. sniff sniff , they sure noe wat they r smelling.. :P definitely not bread and kebabs. sad, but thats how things work.
meanwhile, our neighbour records one of itz most unfortunate year in recent history. volcano eruption, earthquake and tsunami hit that country in 2 months. while casualties are mounting, the aid and international attention is barely wat it was 2 years ago. n certainly and more importantly, less is achieved than it should for the past 2 years to predict such forceful geo-thermalogical activities to bttr protect the people. sadly, dun think lotsa ppl, esp those directly affected realize this. probably wat most ppl in the region need 2 study is the elected government and every individual's inter-relationship and each and every party's responbility to establish a functional democratic sys. probably they should read social contract..lol daz a book i bought recently. finally some serious reading after mentionin social contract to impress for the past 4 years. hmmm sometimes i wished i did more reading in the past n not now n not in the future.
at homeland, i certainly dunno y should the wedding of a celebrity cover the whole front page rather than a constitutional dispute over a historical review of the 2 most prominent races in the country. its trully sad if itz a mirror of the depth of ppl interest nowadays. n i thot the media plays a role in educating the ppl. guess i was wrong. n certainly the gov has done much 2 prevent the periodic haze problem that itz solution or any proposal is still unheard of. itz really frustating especially something that ppl feel with their own lungs and body, personally and economically, is not comparable to the news that the engagement ring is worth 400k. wat hav i done? certainly nothing, most probably wat i hav been doing will be wat i will be doing. thatz y i'm whining here, jus like many other more who jus noe how 2 talk. tho i personally believe more in action than words, i certainly hav not lived up to my belief. sad, mayb, but daz how ordinary i am. definitely not alone tho.
the world 2day i feel is more threatened than eva. more challenges, more conflicts, more disasters, more deaths. it requires more resilience of humanity that could be preserved not through wars. united we stand. but through out history, it shows that it easier for us 2 fall 2gether. real politics. real life. datz wat many believe. still some reservation for me. i hope thats not a bad thing.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Addiction
There are times that u eventually end up fightin to reject something, be it some substance, some habits, some wateva that u welcome with great enthusiasm and alacrity when it first comes into ur life. Contradictory? Tell me about it. Almost all my smoker frens were really excited when they started. Almost all wanna quit now. However, only one managed to do it thus far .(n he’s a Hungarian..watz the relation dude? Well this is adam, and adamization, jus take it :P). The Americans were really hyper about Iraq, and now, they hav more pressure than eva to leave that place. But they cant. Well it really can be anything. Sometimes itz a thot. Sometimes it mayb a word that u say everyday. it can be an ideal sometimes. Once it’s become a habit that u cant quit, ur in it. N u mite wanna fight against it, once u find out that a particular habit and ur reliance upon it is deteriorating u as a person someway or another. U wanna eventually reject it. N u find out the more u try, the harder it becomes. The more u struggle, the deeper u sink. Like in a swamp.
The worldcup is another cyclone’s eye. Some r really so stuck into it already. Some has lost more than 10 grand. Some cant help chasing the games faithfully even if it means 2 hours of slp before work. Haha I’m one of them, n hence explains the unfocused, casual/themeless, n mayb senseless expression here. I’m simply too tired I guess. Physically. And job frustration too. :P. there r certainly things that I wanna quit.
Eg unhealthy worldcup syndrome
My practical duty
Insomnia
Periodic depression (lol u noe wat I mean)
depression mite hav ghastly become a habit here
N lot more to name. really tired. More real adamization when I’m conscious.
There are times that u eventually end up fightin to reject something, be it some substance, some habits, some wateva that u welcome with great enthusiasm and alacrity when it first comes into ur life. Contradictory? Tell me about it. Almost all my smoker frens were really excited when they started. Almost all wanna quit now. However, only one managed to do it thus far .(n he’s a Hungarian..watz the relation dude? Well this is adam, and adamization, jus take it :P). The Americans were really hyper about Iraq, and now, they hav more pressure than eva to leave that place. But they cant. Well it really can be anything. Sometimes itz a thot. Sometimes it mayb a word that u say everyday. it can be an ideal sometimes. Once it’s become a habit that u cant quit, ur in it. N u mite wanna fight against it, once u find out that a particular habit and ur reliance upon it is deteriorating u as a person someway or another. U wanna eventually reject it. N u find out the more u try, the harder it becomes. The more u struggle, the deeper u sink. Like in a swamp.
The worldcup is another cyclone’s eye. Some r really so stuck into it already. Some has lost more than 10 grand. Some cant help chasing the games faithfully even if it means 2 hours of slp before work. Haha I’m one of them, n hence explains the unfocused, casual/themeless, n mayb senseless expression here. I’m simply too tired I guess. Physically. And job frustration too. :P. there r certainly things that I wanna quit.
Eg unhealthy worldcup syndrome
My practical duty
Insomnia
Periodic depression (lol u noe wat I mean)
depression mite hav ghastly become a habit here
N lot more to name. really tired. More real adamization when I’m conscious.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
i barely made it to the teams ~! :P
again, i saw pigeons flying, golden lites and angels
again, the peaceful scene was brought out by gothic ironically :P
there's peace in horror, romanticism in punk. (tho i prefer alternative more :P, yea still like LP tho mite not be crazily into it no more, sigh age o age)
explosive excitement in desperation turned dead environment due to the impression that i really sucked big time and the pscho prep for early retirement that i hav 'zen'-ed up myself 2 accept :P, like bombing scenes of a war in some movies while the sopranos r singing peacefully at the back. absolute contrast was wat i felt-rite after the chaotic outburst of all senses and feelings contesting 2 dominate in a somewat warped time-space that nothing could b really defined or rationalized. really happy :P m grateful even by jus makin the cut for wateva reasons there may be. hmm it really sounds messy (but who cares :P, happiness needs no boundary nor explanation, neither does it need 2 beg for understanding) so true for my sis n mom who r happier than i, tho they mite not understand the meaning to me, nor how much i wan2 b there for one last time. thanx ppl n i really wanna share that regardlessly. yea ppl no matter where u r, watcha doing, wat u actually think of this, feel wat i feel eventho i mite be 2 shy 2 express (it)verbally 2 share, embrace it. this is adamization~!
again adam is set in motion. enjoy the feelin of workin along w my team. happy w everyday cuz i work hard to the fullest n tire myself out to the max for wat the team defines as a goal. this is adamization.
again i hav not yet gotten back my bag. a shadow that mirrors the golden lite. a stain in my volcanic excitement. this is not adamization. i dun need the sense of my trust being abused to be reinforced. this is adamization
:P
passion rules the game. this is adamization~
again, i saw pigeons flying, golden lites and angels
again, the peaceful scene was brought out by gothic ironically :P
there's peace in horror, romanticism in punk. (tho i prefer alternative more :P, yea still like LP tho mite not be crazily into it no more, sigh age o age)
explosive excitement in desperation turned dead environment due to the impression that i really sucked big time and the pscho prep for early retirement that i hav 'zen'-ed up myself 2 accept :P, like bombing scenes of a war in some movies while the sopranos r singing peacefully at the back. absolute contrast was wat i felt-rite after the chaotic outburst of all senses and feelings contesting 2 dominate in a somewat warped time-space that nothing could b really defined or rationalized. really happy :P m grateful even by jus makin the cut for wateva reasons there may be. hmm it really sounds messy (but who cares :P, happiness needs no boundary nor explanation, neither does it need 2 beg for understanding) so true for my sis n mom who r happier than i, tho they mite not understand the meaning to me, nor how much i wan2 b there for one last time. thanx ppl n i really wanna share that regardlessly. yea ppl no matter where u r, watcha doing, wat u actually think of this, feel wat i feel eventho i mite be 2 shy 2 express (it)verbally 2 share, embrace it. this is adamization~!
again adam is set in motion. enjoy the feelin of workin along w my team. happy w everyday cuz i work hard to the fullest n tire myself out to the max for wat the team defines as a goal. this is adamization.
again i hav not yet gotten back my bag. a shadow that mirrors the golden lite. a stain in my volcanic excitement. this is not adamization. i dun need the sense of my trust being abused to be reinforced. this is adamization
:P
passion rules the game. this is adamization~
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
When depression hits u, it jus comes. No sign, no warning, no knock knock. U jus feel it. N ur in it.
D day wasn’t really bad. Had a stupidly-nice day w my old frens singing. A jog at dusk but still its not enough positive energy.
However, there r things that r really worth celebratin 2day. Kathy is done w her wedding and honeymoon. Hope she’ll b blessed w only happiness here after since she has had a pretty dramatically bumpy love life :P hope daz a gr8 beginning.
Suddenly I miss all my frens :P hav already met some, more to go till m not free again. Not many days left 2 burn I hope (for some obvious reasons). But Greedy adam wants 2 meet all his frens b4 he is bz again nonetheless. Daz the mission till end of next week.
Stay cool for Sunday adam. U can do it. Be a man, do the rite thing
D day wasn’t really bad. Had a stupidly-nice day w my old frens singing. A jog at dusk but still its not enough positive energy.
However, there r things that r really worth celebratin 2day. Kathy is done w her wedding and honeymoon. Hope she’ll b blessed w only happiness here after since she has had a pretty dramatically bumpy love life :P hope daz a gr8 beginning.
Suddenly I miss all my frens :P hav already met some, more to go till m not free again. Not many days left 2 burn I hope (for some obvious reasons). But Greedy adam wants 2 meet all his frens b4 he is bz again nonetheless. Daz the mission till end of next week.
Stay cool for Sunday adam. U can do it. Be a man, do the rite thing
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